Finding your way out of achievement mode

 

Do you feel the constant need to achieve? Are you always striving to reach the next target, win the next award or gain the next qualification without taking the time to celebrate the previous one? Perhaps you push yourself to do well in things that you don’t actually enjoy to meet the expectations of those around you?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then you could well be stuck in achievement mode.

A sense of no matter how much success you have something is missing.

When we’re stuck in achievement mode, we can’t enjoy the successes because we are too preoccupied with the next one. We can’t feel the joy of taking part in something or learning a new skill because we are too focused on the end result, which has to be perfect or else we feel that it wasn’t worth doing in the first place. But why does this happen?

For some it may go right back to childhood feelings of not being quite enough and striving to meet the expectations of others at the detriment of their own enjoyment. The straight A student who feels pressure to be great at everything, all of the time, for example. Being stuck in achievement mode often becomes a way of covering up uncomfortable feelings and is based on a belief that success will bring happiness. The trouble with this is, if we don’t face and deal with the uncomfortable feelings, success can’t bring true happiness because the original pain is still there and so it will often feel like hitting a brick wall.

The inner work begins when the discomfort of asking for help is less than the discomfort of being stuck in a perpetual cycle, hoping that the next success will be the one to bring the happiness you desire.

Not too long ago I had a person attend my Connect Workshop who came to realise, while on the workshop, that she had been stuck in achievement mode since she was a child and, because of this, she had been running on empty for a very long time. Not only that but the need to be perfect and the belief that she had to constantly be “climbing the ladder” were masking trust issues and preventing her from being able to find a partner. By the time she signed up for the workshop she recognised that things needed to change for her, however, on the first day of the workshop she admitted to feeling the pressure to be an amazing horsewoman. When an initial interaction between her and one of the horses didn’t quite go the way she had hoped she felt panic and shame. In actual fact it was her anxiety about “getting it right” that prevented her from being in the moment with the horse (and, of course, the horse picked up on this and mirrored how she was feeling inside) and it was only when she allowed herself to be vulnerable and accept that the work wasn’t about being perfect that she was able to connect with her true feelings and recognise how her limiting patterns and beliefs were holding her back. In her own words the workshop helped her realise “how much her blocks were getting in the way of living her life to the fullest”.

And this is exactly what the Connect Workshop strives to do. Using equine facilitated learning, it gives attendees the opportunity to take time out, connect with their true feelings and interact with the horses in such a way that shifts unconscious patterns like achievement mode. If you would like to expand your comfort zone and experience subtle shifts that enable you to move through blocks, set clear boundaries and experience inner joy you can learn more here.

“My experience of working with Rosie was a profound and moving one that has led to a deep sense of peace as well as renewed energy, joy and sense of play. I’ve experienced many alternative therapies over the years and nothing comes close to this.” 

 

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