The true process of transformation


When you hear the word transformation what image does that conjure up for you? Perhaps you imagine Cinderella going from being treated like a slave to becoming a beautiful sparkling princess. Or, if fairytales aren’t really your thing, maybe you imagine a humble caterpillar metamorphosing into a striking butterfly.

Whilst these examples are true to what transformation means, ie “a marked change in form, nature or appearance” they do tend to romanticise the process somewhat. Yes, Cinderella did suffer from years of abuse from her step family but, in true fairytale form, her transformation happened magically with very little effort on her part.

True transformation can be a messy process and it often starts with a crisis of some kind or when we have suffered for so long that the discomfort of staying in a situation is more than the discomfort of change. 

The crisis could be a breakdown in a relationship or a life changing accident. It could even be career related, leaving you wondering what it is you actually want from life, or simply that you recognise the way you are living is not conducive to good physical or mental health.

Whatever it is that leads you to seek transformation, the truth is it will be a process rather than this wonderful thing that just happens in the blink of an eye with no real work or discomfort. It involves a grief period where we release whatever it is we need to let go of. Even when the thing we are grieving was hurting us or causing us great misery, it will often still feel like a massive loss. This is particularly common after the breakdown of a relationship or when we leave a job for example. We may know that the relationship or job were no longer serving us but there will still be parts of it that will be painful to let go of. The harsh realisation that you will never again experience certain things that came with it, in that same way.

With this in mind, it’s important to honour that loss, rather than pushing the sadness away, no matter how hard that is to do because only then can we get excited for the positive change that is to come.

And, in actual fact, the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly isn’t such a bad metaphor! Whilst it would appear that the caterpillar rests for a while in a cocoon, only to emerge as this colourful new creature, what is actually going on inside the cocoon is a messy process in itself. The body of the caterpillar is broken down so that the cells can form the new body of the butterfly.

A red butterfly flying above what looks like a field of wheat. The background is blurred so only the butterfly is in focus.

When I work with people who are going through a transformation, whether that is through the NOW programme or my Wholehearted Living Programme  I hold space for them to work through what they want to leave behind and to allow the ideas to percolate before they move into the new.

If you have recently experienced a crisis or life event that is making you question your life as it is, or you just know that you cannot continue in the same way you have been, and would like to explore how you can move forward, then please do get in touch. We can discuss how I can help and which programme or workshop might suit you best in your personal transformation journey.

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