Does anyone understand you?

As a child I can remember hearing “I just don’t understand you!” and I can also remember the sadness that it evoked within me. Yet, try as I might, I couldn’t explain myself in a way which made it any clearer for them to understand me.

I was frustrated for many years at my inability to help people understand me, until finally, as I began to explore the horse/human connection I realised that it was impossible to explain in words!

I realised that only someone who had walked in my shoes (who had experienced something similar) or someone who could empathise with my feelings could really begin to understand me, in the way that I was seeking. And that, I learned, was because they were interacting with me with their ‘sixth sense’, all of their senses, including their gut instinct and intuition.

What is it that we crave from other humans that horses seem to offer us in such an easeful way?

When Helen Pinkett posted an image to my Facebook page recently I was astounded at the response. It was a lovely picture of a horse resting it’s head against the side of man’s face with a beautiful Rumi quote above it.

“Not the ones speaking the same language, but the ones sharing the same feeling, understand each other”. Rumi

It had a reach of 61,677 people, was liked by 94 people and shared by 812. What made this image share like wildfire??

I wondered whether, like me, many people connected with Rumi’s words because they do not feel understood. Or was it the image of the man with the horse that drew their attention?

Of course, I still don’t know the answer.

However, I believe that it’s a combination of the way the horse is resting his head against the side of the man’s face which evokes our feeling of a beautiful connection, together with the words written alongside.

What is it that we crave from other humans that horses seem to offer us in such an easeful way?

Acceptance? Non-judgment? Love? All of these?

Horse do not judge us, interpret our mood, words or behaviour, they simply accept us as we are in the moment. In many of the sessions I’ve facilitated between people and horses over the years I’ve seen my clients completely calm down, relax, cry, smile and breathe deeply in these moments of acceptance.

I believe the core to being understood is when someone can resonate with our physical feelings and not only the words we convey, as I’d imagined whilst I was growing up.

So, I’ve come to realise that it’s true that some people will NEVER understand me – and THAT’S OK!

It’s possible that you may never truly understand another if you cannot resonate with their experience, you can, however, do the next best thing and show empathy.

So, I’ve come to realise that it’s true that some people will NEVER understand me – and THAT’S OK!

What I do know is that those that can understand me: –
– Genuinely listen to me with all of their senses
– Accept me as I am
– Become curious about what I’m feeling
– Resonate or empathise with my experience

I also know that offering my clients the gift of genuine listening and acceptance is key to their personal growth and development.

To find out more about my coaching please get in touch.