We all have times in our lives when we get stuck, but for some of us it’s a real challenge!
How do you know when you’re stuck?
How do you get moving again?
How you overcome your situation can depend on where you find yourself stuck – is it in a relationship, a job, with a habit or are you simply unhappy, but don’t really know why.
As I observed myself moving through a recent period of ‘stuckness’ I reflected on what helped me. I’m now much more fluid in this process but I still remember times in my life when I just couldn’t get out of my stuck states and they went on for months.
This helps me to empathise with my clients, many of whom have been stuck for a while and have finally decided that they want to move forward. They come to get clarity on what they really want and to ‘free’ themselves from limiting beliefs and behaviours so that they can enjoy their lives more.
Here is my 4 step process which helps me to become unstuck and to get back on track.
1. Admit that the discomfort of facing up to your situation is now LESS daunting than the discomfort of the situation itself.
2. Acknowledge that you don’t want to be in the current situation any longer.
3. Accept your situation as it really is and feel the uncomfortable feelings of fear, vulnerability, sadness and shame.
4. Ask for help.
My recent process:
A few months ago, I felt stuck – my business wasn’t moving forward as fluidly as I wanted, and I didn’t know what to do. I believed that I was working hard at marketing, after all I was writing a monthly Blog and Newsletter, I have an active Facebook Page, I attend regular meetings of a Women’s Business network and give talks at various events. So, what did I do. I worked harder! I spent even more time posting on Facebook, I arranged more 1:1 meetings, and explored further opportunities to collaborate with other professionals. But I stayed stuck!
The next time you are stuck my advice is – ACCEPT it and ASK for help!
Step 1. Finally, it became too painful to bear and I became physically and mentally exhausted and I admitted that I had to face up to the situation.
Step 2. I acknowledged that I didn’t want to be in the situation any longer.
Step 3. I felt very vulnerable, the voices in my head told me that “I should be able to manage my marketing myself, after all many of my friends do” and I felt shame “I’m a failure”. I took the time to honour my true feelings and noticed the anxiety in my chest, the heaviness in my neck and shoulders, the tightness in my jaw. As I did I began to feel more calm, relaxed and focused.
Step 4. What I really wanted was someone to help me with my marketing. I believe in the work that I do and that there are many people I can help, and I wanted someone to help me to connect the two in a more effective manner. I specifically wanted someone who would understand my work and who had an interest in horses. Within a few weeks I came across someone in a Facebook Group who fitted this description, I contacted her, and we had a meeting. I asked her to help me.
“Even admitting I need help is a big step for me”
I know from my own experience that the biggest hurdle is ACCEPTING the situation that you are in and ASKING for help.
I’m not surprised when my clients arrive and say, “Even admitting I need help is a bit step for me”. I assure them that they have already taken the bravest step!
The next time you are stuck my advice is – ACCEPT it and ASK for help!
To find out more about the authenticity coaching that I offer please get in contact.
