I was led to your webpage from Linda Kohanov’s website. I chose to contact you due to the way you wrote about yourself and your product that you are offering. It was coming directly from your heart and you did not need to inflate your experience and qualification in any unpleasant way. I could say that you were congruent and I was drawn to that. At that point in my life I was not aware of the actual issue that was challenging me in my life, I just felt I needed to meet you and find out why my happiness is always depended on my partner. I specifically needed somebody to put me into a position where I could pinpoint my struggles. After our video call I was sure that I will feel comfortable to be vulnerable around you.
Working with you felt natural and easy. I had no fear to allow myself to be open and honest with you. I appreciated your openness to also share about your life and your struggles, that gave me hope that I might one day be moving through them like you seemed to have. Seeing emotions as messages and realizing firsthand that in fact they are providing us with information, was a life changing experience. I have plenty of emotions, but I never learned to ask my body for a message form those sensations. You have a very good feeling when it is time to talk and when you need to hold the space for me. Allowing myself to be, helped my you, was a warming and loving feeling. I realized that the closer I got to my true self the more I feel that I am in fact enough and that I can manage to live this life that I am given.
Since returning home my situation is like a roller coaster, I experienced my deepest lows since I came back, there was a moment this week that I just could not see why I was living at all. I felt an incredible physical pain to the point that I could only scream. I went back to your papers and tried to work with myself to ease this pain and this despair in me. I managed to become more calm and to accept the situation that I am in. I started to realize when I have no borders around me. And I even managed to draw some borders from time to time and that makes me feel worthy. My former partner has decided to break with me. Losing him at my side is painful and most of the time I am convinced that I made a big mistake. But in my heart, I know that I cannot be with a person that does not fully respect me. The horses give me peace at mind on the farm and the goats make sure that I laugh from time to time.
I have also decided that I want to apply to the Eponaquest apprenticeship programme. I have written down what workshops I need to attend first and when I can do that. In my calculation I will probably be coming back to the NOW program hosted by you next year.
Every person that asked me about England and the workshop I attended needs to hear how incredibly enlightening it was and that I am truly hoping to arrange for you to host a workshop here. I have already enough people committed to fill three workshops of yours.