If you feel as if something is missing in your life, remember joy is an inside job


Do you feel as if something is missing in your life?

You don’t know what, or you can’t understand why?

You have all that you’ve ever dreamed of and feel as if you should be happy, but you’re simply not feeling the joy that you imagined.

Well, you’re not on your own! It’s more common than you think, and I’ve been through that same experience.

For years I’d had that “I’ll be happy when…………” story going on. When I’d done my ‘O’ levels I’d be happy, then it was when I got a job, followed by when I got married, then when I had my own business, when I had a baby, when I found my life partner and finally when I had a house with land and stables!

“If you think something is missing in your life, it is probably you……”
Robert Holden


Don’t get me wrong, all these brought me happiness and they still do, but they didn’t fill that void within. I began searching for what was missing (initially without realising it!) – that something more – and I started on my personal development and spiritual journey. I trained in Hypnotherapy, in Reiki and Radionics (a form of distant healing) and as a Life Coach and I began to connect with a life of more meaning and purpose.

Finally, when I was living in the home of my dreams, with my wonderful daughter and life partner I only had ‘one more thing’ to acquire and then I’d be really happy! A horse of my own.

Throughout my childhood I’d had ponies which Mum had bought for me and as I grew out of them, they moved on to new loving homes, for me to have a bigger one. When I had my Riding Centre, I bought horses for the benefit of my clients and students to learn from and so I’d never bought a horse for myself, and I believed that my own horse would be the answer.

And that’s when Jack arrived!

For a while I was excited, but our relationship also brought some apprehension and doubt! To cut a long story short Jack wasn’t the thing which was going to complete my vision of complete happiness (even if that’s ever possible!), but he was the KEY to me discovering what was missing in my life!

You can read more about my journey with Jack in My Story, what’s important here is that he led me to realise that what I was missing wasn’t ‘out there’ it was an inside job!

“Joy doesn’t exist out in the world somewhere. Joy is an inside job.”
Lynn A. Robinson


The joy I was craving wasn’t wrapped up in a home, a relationship a job with meaning or even a horse, it was within me.  What was missing was my connection to the ‘feeling’ of happiness and joy within by body.  What was missing was the connection to myself!

However, when I began to actually FEEL what was going on my body there were a whole multitude of feelings, emotions and thoughts that I didn’t want to acknowledge!

Then the penny dropped, I was seeking stuff on the outside, to achieve, to aim for and to have, in order to overcome the uncomfortable feelings on the inside! And when I wasn’t seeking, I was overworking to take away the discomfort.

When I realised that was the missing link I was excited about the potential to change!

The following few years were transformational for me, as I began to feel my true feelings, to acknowledge and understand my emotions and to challenge the limiting beliefs and doubts which (although had kept me safe from further pain in the past) I learned were holding me back from truly allowing the connection to my heart, and the seat of my joy.

The journey was not easy – opening up to my heart and emotions and risking the fear of further pain was one of the biggest challenges of my life, but so far, the one most worthwhile.

“When you really get to the heart of the matter, you can discover the joy of being your true self”
Rosie Withey


As I developed a deeper connection to my heart, my truth and my authentic self I could access my innate joy and happiness without needing something outside of myself.

The icing on the cake is that I can now feel the true joy of my relationships, my home, and my purpose in life.  I’m living my life from the inside out, with my whole heart!

It has not been a ‘walk in the park’ and I’ve had a lot of support along the way.  This year has been like no other, with its fair share of challenges, but when I’m feeling as if something is missing, I’m now able to find my way back to my true connection, rather than looking outside of myself.  At the same time, I can ‘allow in’ and feel the joy of all that I have in my life.

If something is missing in your life, it could be linked to a relationship, or a situation, or to a lack of purpose and meaning. But always remember that joy is an inside job! When you really get to the heart of the matter and live from the inside out, you can discover the joy of being your true self.

If you feel as if something is missing in your life and are curious to explore how you could begin to live life from the inside out, then please do get in touch.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Back to index