How can I trust my feelings if I don’t know if my feelings belong to me or I’m picking them up from someone else? It’s impossible to have harmony in a relationship until I’m able to recognise the quality of my own feelings and support myself. Having said that it’s through relationships that we get to know ourselves!
Through my personal journey with Jack I’ve learned that when I know what feels right for me and trust my feelings I find peace, happiness and joy in myself and I can take responsibility and engage more harmoniously with partners, animals and my community.
So how did I get here from there?
In the early days if Jack became stressed when I arrived at the stables I didn’t know if he picked it up from me, his situation or the environment? In fact at the beginning I didn’t even consider it was anything to do with me!
Many riders/owners look to calm their horse down first, I know I did! I could only see Jack had a problem; I had no idea that his anxiety was anything to do with me, until I had that first Equine Facilitated Learning session!
He had cranial osteopathy, bowen therapy, chiropractic and physiotherapy treatment, distant healing, reiki, zoopharmcognosy, Tellington touch and Connected groundwork, the reading with the animal communicator who recommended I read ‘The Tao of Equus’ by Linda Kohanov and finally a cortisone injection into the junction between the 6th and 7th cervical vertebrae.
In the early days if Jack became stressed when I arrived at the stables I didn’t know if he picked it up from me, his situation or the environment? In fact at the beginning I didn’t even consider it was anything to do with me!
Many riders/owners look to calm their horse down first, I know I did! I could only see Jack had a problem; I had no idea that his anxiety was anything to do with me, until I had that first Equine Facilitated Learning session!
He had cranial osteopathy, bowen therapy, chiropractic and physiotherapy treatment, distant healing, reiki, zoopharmcognosy, Tellington touch and Connected groundwork, the reading with the animal communicator who recommended I read ‘The Tao of Equus’ by Linda Kohanov and finally a cortisone injection into the junction between the 6th and 7th cervical vertebrae.
It all helped and all the different elements played a part in Jack’s healing journey and my learning journey. However, the turning point came when I embarked on my own journey of healing and self-discovery and that was when the real transformation began to happen.
I remember that one of the questions I asked my mentor Carol Roush over and over again throughout my training was “How do I know what’s mine and how do I know what’s Jack’s?”
Her answer was: “Rosie, the more you get to know how you are truly feeling, the more you will be able to see Jack for who he truly is.”
When I took the time to check in with how I was truly feeling before I went out to the stables I was able to take responsibility for myself. Sometimes it meant that I didn’t ride at all, sometimes I did groundwork instead and finally I needed to ask for help so that I could feel calm. When I was able to feel calm before going out to the stables and doing a groundwork/ridden session with Jack and yet he was still stressed I was more clear that it was something to do with him and his environment.
How does this happen?
The Institute of Heartmath has done research which has shown that information pertaining to a person’s emotional state is communicated throughout the body via the heart’s electromagnetic field and those interactions between people show that the heart-field of one person influences the heart-field of another person who is close by. This also applies to horse/human interactions.
Over many years teaching in my Riding centre I noticed that my wonderful ponies who had very strong calm energy entrained calm, nervous or hyperactive children to become calm. In the same way the calm riders and students helped relax some of my more stressed or anxious horses.
What happens though when you have an anxious horse with an anxious rider/owner/carer?
There was one defining moment with regards to what’s mine and what’s Jack’s which helped me understand shared energy. One day I was sitting in the field with Jack, doing some writing and contemplating, when a pigeon flew down and landed on the post and rail fence. As the pigeon appeared in our awareness both Jack and I leaped off the ground at exactly the same time. It was in this moment that I realised how connected we were and that there was also the possibility that we were both as sensitive to our surroundings and stimulus as each other and it didn’t have to be him setting me off or me setting him off, simply that we were both equally surprised at the same time.
What, of course, I noticed is that within a few moments Jack was back to eating grass, it was me that spent the rest of my time writing about this incident and wondering about the potential consequences!
In situations where both horse and rider are anxious and no-one started it, in order to move the relationship forward the rider/owner has to take responsibility for their feelings and do what needs to be done to create a calm environment. In my experience this is the path I had to take:
Ask for help
Learn ways to become calm myself
Understand Jack’s behaviour and learn ways to help him
Decide how to move forward
What I learned from this healing journey has literally transformed my life and I owe this to the teaching of my amazing horse Jack.
I’m much clearer now about what’s mine, what’s Jack’s and what’s shared and our respective journeys have led to us being more calm and relaxed individuals.
After Jack was diagnosed and treated with injections for arthritis in his neck I brought him back into work. But he continued to drag his toes and my feelings of vulnerability didn’t go away and so, for me, moving forward involved going through the sadness of accepting my decision to stop riding him. He continues to be an amazing teacher for me and my clients and a wonderful companion for me and Bramble.
Throughout my life’s experiences with horses and my years of teaching I always knew that horses responded to our feelings and emotions, but I was often frustrated that I didn’t understand it in a way that was transferable to my clients. Through my own profound journey I have found a way and this learning forms the foundation of the way in which I help other riders/owners with their horses today.
