How to be in Harmony: The 4 cornerstones of Emotional Wellbeing


It’s our natural state to be in harmony with the world around us – and yet often we get stuck and lose our flow. How do you get back in harmony?

We live in a society which encourages us to ‘be happy’ and ‘stay positive’ and in order to do so we often deny our anger, frustration, sadness, fear or vulnerability. Yet at other times we may be encouraged to ‘stay calm’ and deny our excitement or exuberance!

The irony is that left to our natural devices our bodies seek peace and harmony

Even though our natural state is one of peace and harmony we are not designed to constantly ‘be happy’ – rather we respond to our world and environment (both outer and inner) and naturally we are in a constant state of ebb and flow.

If we choose to suppress our true feelings or emotions they become greater (to get our attention), and if we continue to ignore them they either become overly expressed, inappropriately, or internalised and our bodies get tired, fatigued, physically ill and we lose our zest for life. We might become confused, lose clarity of what’s important to us and lack direction.

When we begin to listen to our bodies and feelings again, we feel what brings us contentment and joy and we can sense what our heart’s desire.

So, whilst on the outside we may still be functioning as ‘normal’, on the inside we become stuck. Our bodies, emotions and feelings, our mind and our spirit become disconnected, we are no longer in alignment.

The irony is that left to our natural devices our bodies seek peace and harmony and if, and when, we can follow the natural ebb and flow of our feelings and emotions we can be in harmony, rather than in a forced or manipulated state of happiness or positivity.

The biggest challenge that I’ve encountered, both myself and with my clients, is that succumbing to this desire to be happy and cover up our true feelings has become a habit/pattern. We don’t even realise that we’re doing it and so often it takes an illness, accident, bereavement or other life trauma or incident to bring it into our awareness.

“Harmony is our natural state of being, and so, when our energies become too stagnant, chaos is thrown into the mix to stimulate what will eventually result in balance and invite flow. The trick is to not let chaos trap or define you … simply allow it to create movement in the vehicle of your life so that you can snap your eyes open and take back control of the wheel. Do not lose yourself in the storm, instead, be the calm in the storm.”

Alaric Hutchinson, Living Peace: Essential Teachings for Enriching Life

Through years of support, guidance, therapy, healing and coaching I am now better able to ‘go with the flow’ in my life and I now enjoy helping others to do the same through emotional wellbeing coaching.

If you find yourself: –

– Stuck at a crossroads, not knowing which way to turn
– Feeling ‘over emotional’ or unable to cope with your emotions
– Lacking energy or enthusiasm – having lost your zest for life
– Struggling in a personal relationship

….. then it’s important to bring body, emotion, mind and spirit back into flow and alignment. This is what I encourage in my four-step process of emotional wellbeing coaching.

1. Body
Bring awareness to your bodies and notice that they are consistently responding to your environment. You might notice that you have cold feet or that you have a heaviness in your shoulders. When you bring awareness to your cold feet, they may be saying that you need some more information before taking the next step. When you bring awareness to your shoulders, they may be telling you that you are carrying too much responsibility and to ask for help.
Our bodies are talking to us all the time – the key is to listen!


2. Emotions
Use emotion as information, that’s what they are there for! Fear is an intuitive awareness that is telling us to move to safety, anger reminds us that our space is being invaded and to set a boundary, whilst sadness is a message that we need to release and let go of something that is no longer serving us. Once we get the information and change something in response our bodies can return to its natural state of harmony.


3. Mind
Notice your thoughts and limiting beliefs. We think thousands of thoughts a day and many of them are repetitive and become beliefs. Whilst some thoughts support our natural state of harmony others are limiting and even downright debilitating. The first step is to notice them, the second is either to let them be or to challenge them. The practice of mindfulness is one in which you learn to notice your thoughts and accept them as they are and then let them be. However, it can also be helpful to notice that many of our beliefs are now restricting us in some way and to challenge and move through them.


4. Spirit
Connect with your heart’s desire. When we stop listening to our bodies and emotions, we also lose connection to our spirit – to what brings us joy, to what we value, our purpose and our passion. It’s often at this point that we get stuck, become ill or simply lose our zest for life and finally realise that something is wrong. When we reconnect to our heart, we connect with our spirit and inspiration.

If we stop listening to our bodies and emotions and are overwhelmed with limiting thoughts and beliefs it’s impossible to connect with our spirit, our intuition and vision.

When we begin to listen to our bodies and feelings again, we feel what brings us contentment and joy and we can sense what our heart’s desire. We can then more easily move through mental and emotional blocks to realise the natural peace and harmony that lays patiently waiting underneath.

To find out more about my Wholehearted Living coaching programme, and how it may help you, please click here.

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